Friday, February 26, 2010


We had this earthquake around 5:30 this morning, right here in my hometown. Well, it actually shook everybody's hometown on the whole 65 mile island.

CNN and Fox and maybe even that Hiraldo Guy like to be the first, along with NBC, ABC, that Fat Guy who wants to run the Republican Party, and Bill O'Rielly, Conan, David Letterman, Dr. Phil, Capt. Kangaroo, Al Gore, The Flying Nun and everybody else who wants to be the first to report the news all get family and friends of mine upset because just like breaking wind, BREAKING HEADLINE NEWS is usually BULL !
Gee, I hope I didn't leave anybody important out. If I did, sorry, it was intentional.

Here's what really happened in the Not-So-Breaking-News, from a survivor of the tragic aftermath. The ground shook. The house did, too. Not even 30 seconds, I think.

Everybody survived. If anyone was injured, it must have been an accident. There was one dead bird in my kitchen. He was still warm when I took him away from the dog eating him. Guess I should start closing the doors during earthquakes. Keep the damn birds from using my house as an earthquake shelter and stealing my Rye Bread. Bet that's why the dog killed him.

That's all the breaking news from my part of the world. Everyone's fine and I even answered half of the 157 emails I got today asking about the earthquake before I got this great idea: Do a Blog. Thanks for caring, everyone!

Live on the scene, in the aftermath of the OKINAWA EARTHQUAKE. It's over.

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