Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Chinese New Year 2011 Year of the Rabbit Too Confusing !

Hey, it's New Year's Eve, again, for me. So, I'm posting this photo of my Rabbit Girls from the New Year's Eve party we had a month ago because I'm not sure they'll be out partying again tonight.

I would have called them Bunny Girls but, I think that guy, Hugh, from some girlie magazine back in the USA might get some of his thugs or daughter to come after me. I don't want any lawsuits or anything like that. A guy with all the money he makes could probably have me whacked.

This Year of the Rabbit, when you research it online is pretty confusing. I try and use the best sources because I don't want to be like some of the major newspapers and give people stuff that ain't exactly the truth.

There are plenty of sites you can find if you just use GOOGLE but, I think if Confucius was still alive, even he'd be confused with some of the stuff you find on our illustrious world wide web.

If you were born in a Year of the Rabbit THE CHINESE CULTURE CENTER can tell you what kind of person that means you are. If you happen to be a snake, pig, rat, a tiger, or any of the other 12 animals in the Chinese Zodiac, you can go there, too. Just flip through the pages and they'll tell you what kind of animal you are, if you really believe in that sort of stuff. Hah !

Whenever possible, I like to show both sides of the story. So, I did some research on the Western Zodiac Signs, too. I know lots of people follow that stuff, daily, in the same major newspapers that'll tell you what Hugh boy's latest squeeze might be doing after she scratches another bunny's eyes out.

Sort of an official-looking site for the 12 Signs of the Zodiac  (I'm not maikng this stuff up, either) is UNIVERSAL PSYCHIC GUILD.  I'm pretty sure some of the US Presidents wives have had connections with those folks. They even have an official seal on their page. Hah !

Now, one time, I made the mistake of confusing Astrology with Astronomy. And I got a good whoopin' for that. The Astrology people, they follow the stars, alright. What's the difference between the two?  Well, let's just say it's bigger than the difference between real turf and astroturf. Only one of them is real turf, OK?

Astronomy is science. The people who do Astronomy are real scientists. If you want to know what the planets and stars are up to, do like I do, check this site CosmoBC everyday.

There was a big flap when the Astronomy guys told the Astrology gals that all the planets and stars were shifting, awhile back. I didn't follow it because I really don't worry about what Zodiac sign I was born under. I just worry about important stuff like, what's for lunch or supper.

Well, it seems the shift in the heavens might cause problems with the fortune telling crowd. Imagine the horror if you were reading your Virgo Horoscope and doing really well and all of a sudden, you wake up one day and you're a Capricorn.

Heck, if you really practice that stuff, it may be grounds for a divorce. Or, at least an annulment. Who wants to be married to a goat ?

If you want more information on how they straightened that disaster out and kept all the fortune tellers from loosing their syndicated newspaper jobs, you'll just have to Google it yourself. I'm hungry.

Everday, about this time, I go and take a peek at this ITALIAN FOOD AND RECIPE website.
Irish as I may be, I love Italian food. But, I don't like it at restaurants. I like to do my own Italian cooking. So, I steal ideas from this guy Vincent Scordo. Vinny, sounds good to me. That's Italian.

Oh yeah, Vinny, I don't actually steal the recipes. I just borrow ideas. Don't whack me, OK ?

Just like the Astronomers and the Astrologers, though we have some sort of disconnect between the Chinese and the Italians. It seems Marco Polo and the world's chefs and even the historians disagree on who invented spaghetti and pasta.

This gets really good. While I'm researching this, my stomach is growling and I'm drooling all over the keyboards. Again, there is way too much information online. I've sorted it all out for you, though. I'll give you the best source of information I can find.

Get this. Marco Polo was on his deathbed  (The Origin of Pasta) and a priest tries to get the correct information out of him.  Marco Polo says, "I have not told the half of what I saw and did".
Then, I guess he croaked because they don't say anymore. They shoulda waterboarded him.

I got all this information from a source funded by the Government of Canada The Italian Canadian Community and I know, they don't lie. If they did the Canadian Mounted Police would get them.

So, if you were wondering, what got me from Chinese New Year 2011 Year of the Rabbit, through fortune telling and into spaghetti, I have a plan. I'm going to ask the Rabbit Girls if they'd like to get rich. They could be syndicated in the Eastern and Western world newspapers and online.

There's got to be at least a dozen different kinds of pasta. I'll ask them if they'd like to be Fortune Telling Bunnies. We'll figure out a way to convince people they were born under a certain sign of pasta. Yup.  Pastronomy, we'll call it. Or would that be too confusing? Pastrology? Nah, sounds fake, to me.




Ryan said...

I just checked and I'm a rabbit, unfortunately a 1975 rabbit!!!

RyukyuMike said...

Well ya probably don't have to worry about wakin' up some morning next to a goat, then!

RyukyuMike said...

Some Knucklehead from a ZodiacKomPieceaKrap website posted:

Zodiac said...
"i am a rat, omg, according to Zodiac (dot)KomPieceaKrap".

I'm busy at the moment but, when I get some time I'll post a link demonstrating what happens to dirty rat spammers around here for you.