That Mayor back in New York City, I hear, is going to ban all outdoor smoking. He's probably worried about kids gettin their faces burnt by cigarettes, too.
Now this got me wondering. Kids who aren't much taller than a cigarette probably hang around inside the house. That's the same place all the smokers will be lighting up their tobacco.
The mayor should do like us and post these signs. Let folks smoke outside. Police flying around will catch them if they burn any little kids faces and we'll get the criminals in jail where they belong!
What I had to do was send the wife up ahead of me. Then, jump on the escalator , whip out my cell phone, crouch down and make sure it was in the Photo Mode, try not to loose my balance and get the cheap camera to focus on a moving target.
Well, the danged steps on that contraption move too fast for a gentleman of my age and the stupid camera wouldn't focus fast enough. So, it took me several attempts, going up and down the escalator.
The wife wouldn't go along with my plan after the first unsuccessful attempt. Women get embarrassed, I guess, when men do stupid things.
So, I told her to just keep all the salespeople busy so they wouldn't notice me riding up and down the escalator half a dozen times. She could cause a distraction on the second floor like, pretend she had a few thousand dollars to spend on underwear and jewelry. That'd cause a distraction. I've done it before.
One time, I was squatting on the stairs, riding on the down side and figured the camera might focus and snap the photo quicker with the flash turned on. The silly sign was near the bottom third of the ride. I was concentrating on my shooting and not paying attention to how close it was to the first floor.
You know what happens when you get to the end of the ride and forget to step off ?
The thing throws you off and you land sprawled out on the floor.
People were looking at me like I was crazy. Hah !
In case you haven't figured the sign out, yet, it warns people not to hang over the handrails while riding the thing. That's so you don't bonk your head on something like the ceiling of the second floor.
Probably, after they saw what happened to me, they should make a sign warning people to be careful while using their cell phones on the escalators. The thing could throw you off going up or down, if you're not paying attention, I bet. Maybe, I'll just take the stairs next time.
That'd be down around the big cities. I only know it's Easter from people online wishing me a happy one.
I hiked all over the mountains and just couldn't find anything that cracked me up.
But, all they did was check each other's packages, sniff, or whatever they do and went their separate ways.
When I got out of the woods and off the nature trail I went and asked this nature dude if he could give me the name of these critters I had on my camera. I was hoping they were some kind of endangered species and I wanted a scientific name so I wouldn't have to do so much research when I got home.
"Shirikenimori", he tells me and he helped me translate it from his Japanese wildlife book into English.
Together we came up with "Shi Ri Ken I Mori" and he made sure I wrote it down in proper English.
And he made sure I returned his pencil. It almost went in my pocket.
Nice guy, he was. He even spoke a little English and was very helpful.
But, he didn't have a scientific name for the critter. No problem, I Google stuff.
That lead me to plenty of sources but, my favorite source was Wikipedia Japan. This just made my day because I hadn't had a good belly-laugh like this in awhile. So, I'll quote directly from the Wiki folks in Japan and post a link and hope they don't mind. I want them to take full credit for this masterpiece:
"Shirikenimori (newt ass sword, sword蠑螈ass, Cynops Ensicauda ), the animal phylum Chordata Class Amphibia Caudata Salamandridae newt species are classified as urodele."
My guess is maybe they couldn't afford an educated translator so, they just grabbed somebody out of a bar. Like they were in a hurry to finish their Wikipedia homework.
So, they found some homeless dude or a drunk sailor and asked, "What would you call this tail sticking out of this newt ? It looks like a sword to us."
So, the dude says, "Oh, call it a newt ass sword. That's what I'd do." So, that's what they did !
It's all RIGHT HERE. You can call me old-fashioned. I would have thought something like "sword tail" would have gotten the job done. And it wouldn't have sounded so silly. It did CRACK ME UP !
It turns out, the Cynops ensicauda (Shirikenimori) or, Sword-tail Newt, is an endangered species found in Okinawa, Japan. I'll be heading back up that way to try and get some better photos, now that I know where they can be found. I'll keep my eyes open for more silly signs while I'm on the highways.
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